Those Blasted Cells

Living with Acute Myeloid Leukemia

A love lost

I once wrote to a friend that 22 years ago, Caroline Roessler stole my heart and gave it back to me over time, bit by bit, each piece making me little stronger than when she took it.

Today, my heart has been smashed apart, and I wonder how It will ever be put right.

Rest in peace my darling girl. The world is an emptier, less beautiful and much sadder place without you.

I love you.

Donna
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43 responses to “A love lost”

  1. So sad for you today. No amount of words will comfort you. She is no linger in pain though and I send a million hugs to you.

  2. Oh Donna, I’m so deeply sorry. So sad. Dear, sweet, beautiful Caroline…
    xxx

  3. So, so sorry for your loss, Donna. No words can be enough, but you have an amazing group of friends and family who are with you every step of the way. I just wish I’d known Caroline – and you – better.
    Much love to you and your extended family. And wishing you long life from me and mine.

  4. Nothing but tears xxx

  5. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I can say nothing.

  6. What a loss to the world. Tears are flowing. All our love and support goes out to you Donna.We’re here for you whenever you want us. All our love to you. Jan and Barry xxoo

  7. The worst of days after the very, very best of days and years. Just so sad for you, Donna. Go gently.

  8. Oh darling. Sending so much love.
    J&K xxxxx

  9. My heart goes out to you all. Donna, you have been truly amazing. Caroline was blessed to be surrounded by such an abundance of love. May she be at peace and you find comfort and love from all the wonderful friends you have. My special love to you and Hanni, Kellie, Dani and Christian.
    All our love,
    Jenny, Steve, Remy and Marcel.

  10. Sending love, dear Dons. K xxxxx

  11. And what a love Donna, what a love. This makes no sense, has no shape. The only certainty right now is that you are surrounded by people who love you so very much and will do absolutely everything in their power to let you fall apart, or stay together. whatever you need, whenever you need. heart breaking for you beautiful person. xo

  12. Such a sad and empty space for you right now, Donna, but all the parts that can be filled will be, with friends and family who love you both. Much love. xx

  13. Rest in Peace Beautiful Angel,now you are Free of this Struggle and Pain. So Heart breaking for you Donna,May you feel Caroline with you Always xxx

  14. I remember that photo, taken soon after Curly arrived and what an instant love affair that was. Beautiful times to be cherished, love Carol, Sandro, Lily and Daisy xxoo

  15. It makes no sense and crazies my head and batters my heart to see Caroline gone and you in so so much pain. She made this world a far more beautiful and lively place for so many. And your love, so true and visible and authentically you two, inspired us all. And although this may sound strange, that you’ve made us all a part of this with your beautiful and candid and amazing words throughout Caroline’s illness was so generous, a real gift to be allowed into your intimate world to witness and share both the disease and your incredible love and loyalty and strength in action. We have all learned much, and now it’s our turn to be there for you through your pain and loss. Love always and here 24/7 no matter what. L & O xoxoxo

  16. wrapping my arms around you tightly honey xx

  17. Melissa Fraser Avatar

    Oh Donna. So very sorry. So so sad. Be at peace dearest Caroline. xxx

  18. Donna, I am so, so sorry to read this. I can’t bear to put this on FB but I looked at all the photos there, and the words, and my heart breaks for you. Caroline was a beautiful, kind, smart, funny, insightful and wise woman and the world is less without her in it. xxx

  19. Donna, beautiful tribute. Hugs and love xx

  20. Donna, I’m deeply sorry. The love and life that Caroline enlightened our worlds with is a beautiful and forever lasting legacy. So many tears, sorrow. Know you are loved and please reach out, so many people here for you xox

  21. I am so sorry Donna. Caroline taught me so much. She will be missed xxx

  22. I am so sorry, Donna. Your words here have been heartfelt, hopeful, and painful. She was so fortunate to be loved so deeply by you.

  23. I can’t believe this has been so quick, I so wanted to see her again one last time.
    I hope she is looking down on us with Claudia, bye bye dear dear friend, I love you.

  24. Dear Donna,
    I’m so sorry for your loss – what a big love you shared . May you find some comfort in the knowledge your Caroline did everything she could to be with you for as long as she could.

    My deepest condolences to you and your families,
    Love Wendy G

  25. So, so unbelievably sad, you’ve both been constantly on my mind and I’ve been hoping that you could have had a little bit more time with her… I guess now her poor, beautiful body is no longer in pain. Just know that you have all of us here to support you, to share in your overwhelming grief. Am sobbing for you, am just so sad and still in such shock. You’re right, the world is a much shittier place without her in it. Rest in peace dear, sweet, lovely Caroline.
    All my love,
    Adrienne xxxxxxx

  26. So sorry…

  27. Really sorry. And my deepest condolences. Lots of hugs and kisses

  28. Emma O'Reilly Avatar
    Emma O’Reilly

    I’m so sorry Donna, no words can ease the pain at you a going through. The world just lost one incredible lady. Xx

  29. so sorry. what a wicked, shitty reality. there is lots of love for you here in your circle of friends. let the love flow in now. hugs from me 😦

  30. Geraldine O'Brien Avatar
    Geraldine O’Brien

    I am so dreadfully sad for you, Donna – and for Caroline who gave so much and was cheated of all those future days. I send you hugs and my love to everyone whose world is sadder and greyer today.

  31. So sorry to hear the sad news Donna you and Caroline were so happy together my thoughts are with you at this sad time

  32. I am struggling to find the words through my tears, dear Donna. I am so very sorry seems so very trite. I had to fight to get Caroline the job through which we became friends – and I am so glad I did. She had the warmth and humour of ten people and was just much fun to be with, other than the fact that she was so talented. I can’t believe we will never see her again. I send love and hugs and wish I could do more. She was a wonderful woman and I will never forget her laugh and sense of fun. The world is surely a sadder place for her passing. xxx

  33. I came here for the first time today, from a tweet. And I can’t leave without saying something, Donna. You don’t even know me, and I hardly knew Caroline but she was so kind to me a few years ago when she commissioned a story from me. SO kind.

    Your words made me weep. I’m desperately sorry for your huge, gaping loss. My stepfather died from cancer in hospital – so quick, took him away within weeks and it was true horror to watch. Cancer is a disgusting thief. Please know that I … and so many others … are thinking of you now and in the days ahead.

    So much love.

    eden xxxxx

  34. So very, very sorry, Donna. Can’t believe she’s gone. She was a good one. Warmest regards and condolences, Suzanne.

  35. Dear Donna, the love you and Caroline so willingly gave and received is all around. Friends, family, and all the ‘touched’ souls from afar like me love you, support you, and cry with you. A beautiful woman who I never knew, touched many hearts and shaped yours. Rest in peace now Caroline and beautiful Donna be cradled in the many arms of love. Jodie x

  36. Donna, I’m so sad to hear she’s gone, and for what you must be going through – you’ve shared your story so very bravely. One last Notebook quote for dear Caroline, courtesy of Renoir: “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”

    We won’t forget her. Deepest condolences to you and your families, Donna.

  37. A life well lived. Cherish all that has been granted. Vale C.

  38. So very, very sorry for your tragic loss Donna. You’ve inspired all of us with your incredible love for each other. xx

  39. So sorry Donna, and so sorry that I never got to meet Caroline, a reminder to live life to the fullest. All my love Sarah xxx

  40. Dear Donna , Christian, Family and Friends:
    I felt compelled to share these lyrics with you:
    “Hold On” Written and Performed by Michael Buble

    Didn’t they always say we were the lucky ones.
    I guess that we were once, babe, we were once,
    but luck will leave you cursed, it is a faithless friend,
    and in the end, when life has got you down,
    you’ve got someone here that you can wrap your arms around.

    So hold on to me tight,
    hold on to me tonight.
    We are stronger here together,
    than we could ever be alone.
    So hold on to me,
    don’t you ever let me go.

    There’s a thousand ways for things to fall apart,
    but it’s no ones fault, no it’s not my fault.
    Maybe all the plans we made might not work out,
    but I have no doubt, even though it’s hard to see.
    I’ve got faith in us, and I believe in you and me.

    So hold on to me tight.
    Hold on, I promise it will be alright.
    Cuz it’s you and me together,
    and baby all we’ve got is time.
    So hold on to me,
    hold on to me tonight.

    There’s so many dreams that we have given up.
    Take a look at all we’ve got,
    and with this kind of love,
    and what we’ve got here is enough.

    So hold on to me tight.
    Hold on, I promise it will be alright.
    Cuz we are stronger here together,
    than we could ever be alone.
    Just hold on to me,
    don’t you ever let me go.
    Hold on to me, it’s gonna be alright.
    Hold on to me tonight.

    They always say, we were the lucky ones.

    _____________________________________

    Donna you wrote:

    “Caroline Roessler stole my heart,
    Gave it back to me over time,
    Bit by bit,
    Each piece making me a little stronger than when she took it.”

    Donna:

    The pieces have all come back.
    You are complete now.
    You are strong.
    Strong enough to let go.
    Strong enough to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and carry on.

    I know this because:

    As I have read this blog I’ve gained insight into the lives you’ve shared.
    I’ve found wisdom, courage, humor, grace but most of all LOVE.
    The love you shared with each other, your pets, your family and your friends.

    So just hold on to each other and it will be alright.

    Donna, Christian, Family, Friends…. I extend my heartfelt sympathies to you all.

  41. My condolences, Donna. I can’t begin to imagine the immensity of your loss. Much love to you… wendy, Brendan, Marley and Maeve.
    And go well, lovely Caroline. xx

  42. Hundreds of journalists owe their careers to Caroline Roessler. Including me. All those words we’ve written. All those stories over the years. All those pages, and paragraphs, and headlines. All those coverlines: big, small and in between. All of that is due to Caroline. She was an incredible editor. And what a wonderful legacy to leave.

    With love and gratitude.
    xx

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