The beginning

We are coming up to the first anniversary of Caroline’s diagnosis with acute myeloid leukaemia. I remember that time like it was yesterday. This is an email Caroline sent me while I was at work on October 24.

“A very nice doctor called Michele Damon (sic) called me and said I have to have a bone marrow biopsy on Monday. They were considering calling me in today to stay for the weekend but because I feel well they’re allowing me to be an outpatient.

Also have to have another blood test in the morning to determine coagulation etc.
She explained the bone marrow procedure and also explained that it could be acute leukemia. That’s worst case. There are other malignant illnesses as well, and it may be just something else altogether.
She’s scheduling another appt for early afternoon Friday for results. Unless the biopsy shows up something really bad then all bets are off.
She said if I have any signs of fever, sweats, bad bruising, bleeding from gums or nose I need to go to hospital immediately.
Here we go.

And now, she is gone.


19 thoughts on “The beginning

  1. All those anniversaries…you have to get through each one, and it’s all hard…Hope you’re okay…email me your number so’s I can give you a call one of these fine days…I don’t seem to have it in my book.

  2. Hello my love ,I remember Caroline’s phone call when she was diagnosed.I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed the bravery you both showed throughout the whole journey.know what Carine will Lways be with us.We love you Donna come and spend some time when you’re ready . X

  3. I just can’t believe its that time that you both got the bad news.
    I have been thinking about you for a long while, wondering how you are Dear Donna xxx

  4. it pleases me enormously that you’re writing again. don’t let all the sad rattle around inside there. if you share some, we can share too. lots of people around to support you.

  5. Darling person. I remember the news you sent me and the shock of it so acute. I’m just so
    Sorry you have to live each day with such excruciating loss and pain. It remains, and ever shall, unfathomable. Much love xox

  6. Every day must bring its own kind of sadness. Thank you for writing again. I’ve been thinking about you and hoping that your sadness hasn’t suffocated your incredible ability to express yourself in words. It’s a wonderful gift that I know you and Caroline both shared. You are never too far from my thoughts. Please write whenever the mood takes you. Much love xx

  7. Dear dear Donna. So wonderful to hear your writing voice and know just a fraction of what you are thinking and feeling. Sad but comforting to be reminded of Caroline’s voice in this way. Just plain sad to be reminded of how quickly this happened and what Caroline and you had to face. A million squeezy hugs from the Highlands. Much much love from Olivia and me. Please xoxoxo

  8. I worked with Caroline when she was on Notebook magazine. I loved her outlook on life and I’m so very sorry she is no longer here.

    I lost my dad 2weeks ago to Leukaemia and feel sick everyday.

    I do hope you’re managing to have some pain free moments. It would appear grief doesn’t have a final destination but we simply have to find a way to live with our altered future,

    Sending you much love even though we haven’t met,


    Sally Souter gingerbreadPR 0407800448


  9. Time moves on, your heart is heavy and lost, but your love will never die for your Caroline…I think of you often and wish this was just a bad nightmare for you..but it’s not, a love lost to early for you and Caroline.. One can never know the right things to say in times like this.I just hope one day you wake up and the sun shines again.

  10. Oh wow Donna, such a huge space. I remember you and Caroline coming up to the trestle at the markets because C had just accepted the Barossa Living gig. You two were like a comedy act, C telling me she wasn’t trying to rope me in and you saying in your perfectly dry tone ‘she’s here to rope you in’… and then, ‘and Damien too.’ We were meant to just have a cup of tea and chat about ideas for the magazine but C arrived with a much bigger conversation to have. Can that really be a year ago? My God.
    Sending you and Curly and Herbie so much love,
    Cherie x

  11. You all have great memories of my sister. to have been her brother is very different, we had great times over x-mas holidays, simple things like jumping on her and Claudia. Then they would hide my things until I could not take it anymore, Caroline was the master at this game. We loved the beach and music. Please forget the Bay City Rollers and their costumes, I have the pictures to prove it. Now its Mum and me, I work part time at her village now as she is so lonely. Mums actually looking great and putting on weight. I just block off to the dementia. Any way its normally the sons that look after their mums. We miss Caroline and Claudia so much I have to block it out. We are alone.

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